Wednesday, March 18, 2015

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People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges, by Jen Mann



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People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges, by Jen Mann

NATIONAL BESTSELLER

A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat
 
People I want to punch in the throat:
• anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer
• humblebraggers
• people who treat their pets like children
 
Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book.

Advance praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat
 
“People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened
 
“Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes
 
“Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves
 
“Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear

  • Sales Rank: #32955 in Books
  • Brand: Jen Mann
  • Published on: 2014-09-09
  • Released on: 2014-09-09
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 7.97" h x .62" w x 5.17" l, .81 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 224 pages
Features
  • People I Want to Punch in the Throat Competitive Crafters Drop Off Despots and Other Suburban Scourges

Review
Advance praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat
 
“People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened
 
“Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes
 
“Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves
 
“Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear

About the Author
In addition to her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Jen Mann has also written for The Huffington Post, Babble, Circle of Moms, and CNN Headline News. She was voted one of Circle of Moms Top 25 Funniest Mom Blogs for 2012 and 2013 and chosen by the same site as one of the “Most Influential” bloggers. She was a BlogHer Voice of the Year in 2012 and 2013 and was a finalist for two Bloggies in 2013 (Weblog of the Year and Best Parenting Weblog). In 2012 she self-published a debut collection of essays, Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat. She lives in the suburbs of Kansas with her husband (aka “the Hubs”) and is the mother of two children, whom she calls Gomer and Adolpha on her blog. She swears their real names are actually worse.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
9780345549839|excerpt

Mann / PEOPLE I WANT TO PUNCH IN THE THROAT

PEOPLE I WANT TO PUNCH IN THE THROAT: A SHORT LIST

My parents. Seriously, who spells their kid’s name “Jenni” with an adorable i? I guess they never expected me to be a doctor.

Anyone who thinks I really named my kids Gomer and Adolpha. Their real names are actually worse.

That one guy who sits in the middle of Starbucks yelling into his stupid Bluetooth about a bullshit quarterly report. We all hope you choke on your latte.

Extreme couponers who hold up the checkout line over thirty frickin’ cents. I’m mostly pissed off because I always forget my coupons at home.

People who treat their pets like children. No further explanation needed.

Anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer. I blame Pinterest for this shit.

The guy in front of me at McDonald’s the other day who asked, “What’s good here?” Even the guy behind the counter didn’t know how to answer.

Humble braggers. If you have something to brag about, then just own it.

Anyone who names their kid after a Kardashian or a Twilight character. Trust me, no one believes that you just “thought up” the name North on your own.

Moms who tell me my life would be so much easier if I implemented “systems.” Oh, fuck you.

People who tell me not to swear so much. Oh, fuck you, too.

People who think this book might be about them. Don’t be so vain. You’re not the only asshat I know.

Most helpful customer reviews

204 of 210 people found the following review helpful.
Petty and hypocritical, but NOT funny.
By Amy R
Really floored people find this funny. I wanted to like it, but I found the author to be petty and hypocritical. She comes across as the EXACT type of mom she's criticizing. For example, she makes fun of other moms for getting up at 4 in the morning to get their kids into the "right" dance camp, then is willing to overlook her son being bullied because the bully's mom can get her into the "right" book group (she even reads the book club selection in advance in anticipation of being chosen for this supposedly "elite" group). She's annoyed that the play group won't let her into the "red group," so rather than leave and find another group (as every other mom I know would do), she sticks it out and ends up being on the board (yes, the play group has a board) just so she can take over and implement her own rules. She's basically a bitter, mean, rude wannhabe-stepford wife (with a real jerk of a husband) who can only make herself feel better by putting others down.

Also, if you're a pet-lover, you'll likely be offended by the chapter about dogs. The author and her husband are appalled that a person would pay to have their dog's broken leg set. After all, it'd be so much cheaper to just have the dog put to sleep. So if you feel that pets are actually a responsibility, and not just a toy to be tossed aside once they become inconvenient, you'll likely be ready to punch the author in the throat by the end of this particular chapter.

To top it off, most of the conversations and confrontations come across as terribly fake and contrived. (NOBODY talks like that.)

In my opinion, nothing about this book is funny.

179 of 192 people found the following review helpful.
Include the author as someone I want to punch in the throat.
By Jennie P
This was recommended to me by friends who claimed this was "hilarious". Ugh. Maybe the last 1/3 of the book would I consider "somewhat funny", but the first 2/3 was brutal. Maybe I'm just burned out from all the snarky-bloggers-writing-about-their-mundane-lives-and-run-out-of-material (I'm looking at you, Jen Lancaster). It all felt forced. Going back to the time before she was blogging (didn't realize she was a blogger prior to reading this book). The "Hubs" sounds like a pill. I have no idea why she would be married to him. And the names! Good grief, the fake kids names drove me crazy. Made it hard to think of these stories as anything more than pure fiction.

Edited to add that not five minutes after I posted this "negative" review, it was marked as "not helpful". Fangirl much?

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
look in the mirror, lady
By suepur911
people who think that they are the only ones that are raising kids in the suburbs will think this is an original book. otherwise it's just 'i don't know how she does it' revisited-but without even the job. i'd love someone to write the book 'i don't know WHY she does it' with some insight into the motivation of the scornful ones who go ahead and put themselves into the category of suburban wife/mom then put down everyone around them.

occasionally there will be a laugh line that makes it a '3' in conjunction with decent grammar and prose.

See all 729 customer reviews...

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